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Politeness is best expressed as the practical application of good manners or etiquette. It is a culturally defined phenomenon, and what is considered polite in one culture can often be quite rude in another.While the goal of politeness is to make all of the parties relaxed and comfortable with one another, these culturally defined standards at times may be manipulated to inflict shame on a designated party.
There are two kinds of politeness:
- negative politeness : Making a request less infringing, such as "If you don't mind..." or "If it isn't too much trouble..."; respects a person's right to act freely. In other words, deference.
- positive politeness : Seeks to establish a positive relationship between parties; respects a person's need to be liked and understood. In other words, praise.
Some cultures seem to prefer one of these kinds of politeness over the other.
Techniques:
- Expressing uncertainty and ambiguity through hedging and indirectness .
- Use of euphemism (which make use of ambiguity as well as connotation)
- Preferring tag questions to direct statements, such as "You were at the store, weren't you?
- modal tag s request information of which the speaker is uncertain. "You didn't go to the store yet, did you?"
- affective tag s indicate concern for the listener. "You haven't been here long, have you?"
- softener s reduce the force of what would be an brusque demand. "Hand me that thing, could you?"
- facilitative tag s invite the addressee to comment on the request being made. "You can do that, can't you?"
Some studies have shown that women are more likely to use politeness formulas than men, though the exact differences are not clear.
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